Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in Anne-Marie's LiveJournal:

Monday, October 13th, 2003
8:08 pm	Depressed? I realised tonight, that I am depressed...More than I thought I could ever be...My life is falling apart, and even if I wanna just say it and stop it. It's like I can't. I dream at night about drowning. Every morning, I wake up, not with a smile, but with a frown...See, I lost a best friend, not too long ago, someone who I grew up with, who I thought I'd grow old with...We had a fight before she died, and I never got to apologise and to say how much she did mean to me, I've always had a problem expressing my feelings, even towards family and friends. The only person I could open up to was my mom, but now more and more I see I'm shutting down everyone, even my mom... I'm digging myself a hole, and I don't think I want to get out of it, atleast not now...I'm not ready? People don't notice this, because I'm good at hiding it! Although I know I shouldn't, but thats how I am, hide the problem and it might just fly away... I'm gonna write a letter to my mother tonight telling her how I'm feeling right now, to tell her that yes I'm not myself and yes I'm sick...sick not only physicly, but mentally, not insane, just depressed not knowing if tomorrow I'll be ok! I need medication or someone to talk to...I haven't been myself, I've been yelling, bitching, mean just a total nightmare. I think I even scared the guy who I love away because I'm not the person he fell for, not anymore. If I could just turn back the time and go back, apologise and tell her not to go, to stay...But I ddin't, I was too full of myself, my pride meant more to me then my own friend...my sister, the one i shared a greeat connection with, i let her go, im the one who blocked her out, like i didnt care...I realise what my action do now, I realised my pride isnt everything, my friends and loved ones mean more...I wanna feel better because I know my loved ones want me to, I know Chris wants me to...I know I need to, because I'm young and haven't lived my life yet, I've only begon...I don't know whats gonna ahppen to me, but I know I WILL get through this, because I know Steph would want me to, I know my mom wants me to and I know chris wants me to... Current Mood: confused Current Music: TV (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 12th, 2003
10:44 am	IDK?! I feel like crap right now, I had the biggest fight with Chris Last night its not even funny...He told me this gurl was watching me on Whatthedilly and that she told him almost evertyhing I did. Tell me this, If you recognise a guy from a site and your like you can't forget a gorgeous face but as a compliment would you take it as me flirting?!? I don't know, I'm just so pissed off, I found out I have cancer in my ovaries, which means if its really big which I'll know tuesday I won't be able to have kids.=( Just a lot is happening in my life right now, rumours going on about my mom, and theres some rumours about me also...I don't know people are cruel? Anne was here last night because I was supose to go out then I told her I changed my mind...She left and I was crying so hard I called her at 12 am, she drove here and comforted me alll night, she kept saying things will be okay. Were going shopping today so I can get things out of my mind because theres so much going on that I don't know what to do. People keep telling me I'm strong but they don't know the other half of me, the part where I want to let it all go! IDK. I had to work today but I took the day off although I'm working all week this week which will suck ! =( You know who I haven't talked to in a while? LUC!!! He's never online=( Well thats it, <<<<<3333333 I LOVE YOU CHRIS! Current Mood: sad Current Music: I run away and I'll never stop loving you-Britney Spears (Comment on this)
Friday, October 10th, 2003
8:34 pm	?!?!?! Can Anyone make me a movin' Icon? If so please e-mail me or leave me a post on here? Thanks!<3 Current Mood: curious (Comment on this)
4:13 pm	Wow I had a pretty hectic 2 weeks?! Work-hangout-work-visiting family...Just hectic I tell you. OK theres this stupid idiot girl taking my pics and I'm getting really pissed off. She's been posting them on all sorts of sites. =( I miss Chris a lot, I ahven't talked to him in ummm...FOREVER! But baby the 23rd is NEAR very very very near! This weekend I have a lot of things planned, people are keeping me busy. I've been having a lot of problems lately, headaches and well other painfull things. I went to the doctors and he thinks it might be cancer? but i doubt thats it! So no worries there. My step dad is in the hospital, I've been visiting him a lot.Anne, is um going crazy? Seriously though haha, she's been partying alot, and well IDK but I heard a lot of rumours that she might be sleeping with this guy!? Just if she is, we need a serious talk girl...Just the guys a total player...she's probly thinking she'll get a serious relationship out of this and all she WILL get is a broken heart. Anyways, I miss you Chris. I LOVE YOU CHRIS!<3 Current Mood: happy Current Music: I run away-Britney Spears (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
7:14 pm	=oD YAY...K I went shopping JUST I got carried away. I bought like 3 pairs of jeans and 1 jean coat with 1 nice red tommy hilfiger long sleeve shirt with a cap just nice and some other shirts and a pair of shoes just nice. I was sooo cold again today like I had mittens on a sweat shirt, and a coat hehe people thought i was crazy but HELLO it snowed here lmaolmaolmao. Just ahh my gawd I miss chris a lot just crazy! Seriously he's my baby! BooBooBoo! K well hehe anne is CRAZY and so Is KIM like haha we were out at the mall and they like totally embarassed me they were like making fun and they kept screaming MOMMY everywhere in the mall and I'm like guyssss please lets just act mature then they'd be like "US MATURE RIGHT!" haha but it was fun I've never laughed so much since...well since...=o(. K well I still have to E-mail chris and tell him how much I missed him tonight then I'm off in the hot tub to relax and just awww hehe! I LOVE YOU CHRIS!!! <<<<<<<<333333333333333 Current Mood: loved Current Music: A long time coming (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 1st, 2003
8:36 pm	Don't know how I'll survive without you, because you've given me a reason to exist! OMG paradise hotel was crazy tonight like wow, haha but I'm happy that Keith and charla won because Dave doesnt deserve shit fuck! haha Whoa, you know whats funny? Well k just don't laugh... when I saw beau back on Pradise tonight I started jumping everywhere and i was sooo-0000 happy...But when I jumped I fell right on my ass....soo not funny but my mom and them burst out and i started laughing! just the way I fell k? Anyways hehe I Love Chris just ok he's amazing Understanding JUST perfect! Thats a word, but Perfect isnt enough to actually pin point what he means to me or who he is to me its just impossibly to put in words but All I can say is that these butterflies are REAL and they're staying nothing and nobody can change that! MUAHS! Hehe I'm going shopping tomorrow, yes again because I didn't buy nothing today just wasnt in the mood because I was missing my baby boo boo too much! K!! Well I'm done with the "entry"... hehe Well gtg PS=I found someone to make me the icon thing for livejournal sooooo haha thankz! Latasss Anne LOVES Chris xoxoxoxoxoxoxox <<<<<<<<<<<<33333333333333333 Current Mood: satisfied Current Music: Before your love-Kelly Clarkson (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 30th, 2003
8:46 pm	Hmmm... I don't know tonight was alrite the only thing that was awesome was talking to Chris. My muscles are killing me I worked out a bit too much. I'm overdoing it again and it ain't good. I need to just chillax. I took some new pics at my dad's today when I went and saw my step mom! They took pics of me on the couch sleeping lol it was um hilarious they even took some of me in my boi shorts. I'm already missing chris its pretty bad...=o( I'm kinda worried its not that i dont trust him but i do know that friends can influence you, and make u do the wrong things...=os. Anne and I are going shopping tomorrow afternoon...YAY=o) Girls night out WOOOT! Afterwards I'm gonna call chris so its not really a girls night out its more of a girls afternoon shopping day out get fat thingy lmaolmao just we haven't had that in a while just cause weve been busy both ways its carazy. I hear Kim misses me a lot haha she said "No one can joke around like you do" hehe so I might chill with her this weekend and with some other friends. *IAN your pathetic lol* >Inside joke< Mike came over earlier tonight he brought back the sweatshirt I left at his house after we chilled there. He kinda told me he had a thing for one of my friends and i was just like huh what?Coolll want me to fix you up with her? Than he just nodded meanin MEH no hurry! lmaolmaolmao just his so no decided in ANYTHING he does. My mom is totally stressed and she's stressing me out just cause she is. I made a poem for her last night...its too sweet. I'll post it on here sometimes soon, meh when I feel like it. NOW DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW I CAN POST MY PIX ON HERE AND WHAT THINGY UR USING!!! 'Kay just leave me a post or email! Thankies. K well I'm so tired and I have to wake up at 5 am tomorrow morningm which will be killer believe me but meh its life right? haha well nighty night! I LOVE CHRIS <<<<<<<<<<333333333333 Current Mood: worried Current Music: Songs that make me think of my baby (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, September 29th, 2003
3:22 pm	LOVE Last night me and chris had to me was the best convo ever, just cause for the very first time i heard him say "I love you" I was just like awwww my gawd..K I'm in love! hehe Thank god I found him just cause he amazes me, the way I feel whenever I talk to him or just look at him its just amazing...Butterflies just too many! Just ok You know when you just cant get enough of your lover, its like you NEED to talk to him atleast once a day!! Well I need to hear and talk to him more then once, its like without him I don't know where I'd be, I'd be lost without him!Just I don't know...He's my angel...my one and a million! Hehe yea okie bout the convo last night, awww ok hehe I told him about how i didnt like hearing bout his ex gf's but yet like a few mins after I talked about this guy and I know it pissed him off and im so sorry but after the making up was awesome hehe! <<<<33333 I don't know I'm just very lucky to have him! I love him <<<<33333 My day was alrite, I was missin my baby and still am!=o( Current Mood: loved Current Music: Slow songs thinkin bout chris (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 28th, 2003
7:59 am	blaw I'm babysitting this morning and I'm so tired. It's not possible ugh. I miss my baby like cwazy! I'mma call him tonight. I'll write a longer entry when I get home later! I love you Chris <<<<<<<<<<<<<333333333333333333 Current Mood: tired Current Music: sound of the TV (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 27th, 2003
10:27 am	=D Wow, last night I went to bed so early it wasn't even funny..8:30pm My lights were out and I was in bed dreaming bout my baby...I must of been over tired or something. Tonight I promised my aunt I'd babysit for her since she's gonna bring my mom out to change her mind about my grandma...she misses her a lot...just like me...But I'm strong and I'm making it through unlike her! My dad asked me to go eat supper there tonight I'm like "I can't i gots to go babysit" and I had a huge smile on just cause I was so happy, lol I hate going there. The only reason I do is because my step mom is pregnant and sometimes she needs help! =op, I mean eh? Since I don't really care 'bout my dad! Bawwww! I was supose to go to this dance last night, with some friends, BUT I really didn't feel like it...just cause, I wanted to go to bed early hahahaha I was lazy HEY they say when you sleep you lose weight hahaha so I must lose a lot cause I'm always sleepin' these days. Hmmm...I miss my baby, seriously Chris.......awwwww...I love him hhehe nothing will EVER change that...well wAIT yeah something could...if he told me I didn't mean anything to him nomore...I'd be crush and I'd cry for a long time=op. OMG, haha this is funny, my friend called me last night and she was like " Heyyyy you coming out tonight?" and when she called I was sleepin so Isaid somehting that wasn't really pafrt of the convo...I was like "What? you wanna go see chris? " Than she's like "what the fuck?Anne-marie?" then I'm like "YESSSSS lets go see him" hahha she hung up on me...lol I read the email she sent me telling me this...lol she says I'm too into him...haha ummmm soooooo!*blushes* Okie well this is it for today. I'll write before me goes to bed...(I was about to write nighty night) ugh lol. Latas Anne-Marie LOVES Chris!<<<<<<<<<<<<3333333333333 Current Mood: loved Current Music: Shakira- your the one i need (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 25th, 2003
4:06 pm	?!?!?! Anyone know how to make those moving Icons? If so please lemme know, and if ur interested in making me one!!! =o) thanx! Anne Marie Love's Chris!<<<<<<<<3333333333 Current Mood: curious Current Music: Mix Cd (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
7:40 pm	soooooo in love<3... He makes me feel so special, you have no idea k! It sucksss that he's soooo far away! I love him sooo much like awww this feelin' is incredible k! Those butterflies always get stronger each single day but tonight they like blew up into something more, something stronger something, I doubt I'll be able to live without. Baby I know your reading this.....I LOVE YOU!!<<<<<<<<3333333333 OMG today was a tiring day. I stayed in PJ's all dayyy I am so lazy K...its the first time its happened though, usually I get dress...hahaa...I'm looking for this 64 game I know 64 is old butttt I love this game K and i played it on PS2 and i dont like PS2 and i dont have a game cube sooo anyways does anyone have Harvest moon 64 or harvest moon snes that they dont want nomore...Pls lemme know email me at anne_mar1e19@hotmail.com If you got one! I'm ready to pay! =o) lol I'm crazy but seirously I'm hooked on that god damn game and i looked everywhere for it but I can't find it=o( Even WEM don't got it...PLEASE HELP! Maybe I'll look on E-bay!hmmmmm but please please please help! hehe *hintHint* Thisd might be a greattttttt xmas gift MIKE! lol hahahaha Thats it for tonight I LOVE YOU CHRIS FOREVER AND ALWAYS!<<<<3333333333 Current Mood: loved Current Music: low- Kelly Clarkson (Comment on this)
Monday, September 22nd, 2003
9:10 am	early Wow, its pretty early. Ugh, I hate waking up so early...but its not like I've got a choice. I have to go to work this morning. I miss my baby so much, and hopefully, I'll talk to you soon, because , "Baby I seriously miss youuuuuuuuuuuuu" I have to go shower, and get ready ....I also need to email chris to have his work schedule... I love my baby! Muahssssssss chris<3 Current Mood: awake Current Music: if your not the one - Daniel (Comment on this)
12:45 am	ickkk I had a lot of fun last night and tonight...despite everything I'm going through I must say Erin cheered me up soo much =o). I'd write a long entry and say eVERYTHING we did but, it would be too long. I miss my baby a lot, I haven't talked to him in days, he's either working, at the gym or just out, and im busy and ugh, its hard i missssssssssss youuuuuuuuuuuuu chrisssssssssssssssss!!! I'm so tired like ugh seriously...hehe, I think I'm gonna call it a night I LOVE YOU CHRIS......Mwuasssssssssssssssssssss Current Mood: loved Current Music: love songs mostly by Selena (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 20th, 2003
12:03 pm	Here it is My new livejournal...Enjoy! (Comment on this)